Interesting. Joyful. Fearful. Frustrating. Depressing. Venting. Healing. Wishful. Thankful. Loving. Humbling. These are just some the words that describe my experience in 2009. In May 2008 my wife Meaghan and I found out we were pregnant with our first child...we also found out that my mother had been diagnosed with cancer of unknown origins. On November 24, 2008, my mother passed from this life and went Home to meet her Lord and Savior Jesus. Thus, we entered the new year with sadness, and myself with anger and bitterness toward God. On January 30, 2009...our son Noah was born and I was full of joy at this blessed little life. It's an odd thing to be so full of joy and so full of sadness at the same time...because my mother, Noah's grandmother, who had such a love of children, will never meet my son in this life. The next six months were somewhere between happiness and love...and anger...yelling at God. It took me over a year from my mothers initial diagnosis to finally accept that that Lord knew why he took her home, and that maybe I'll know someday...but not now. I was finally able to let the Lord heal me from the inside out and let go of my bitterness. The Lord gave us a child to help us in the healing process of our loss. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I have watched my son grow into a sweet, busy, energetic, almost 1 year old...and I could not ask for anything more than this. My loving, supportive wife and my son bring joy to my life everyday...and I am blessed.
I am thankful to God for loving us, providing for us, healing me, and for the ultimate sacrifice that he made through his son Jesus...as I reflect on this most difficult, joyful year of 2009.
