Goals

I was able to spend some time this morning catching up on my one year Bible reading...yes, I've already fallen behind a bit. Thankfully Noah decided to sleep until 9:00 this morning so I was able to catch up some in peace. I have to say, it's not easy to get to on midnight shift, because when I have a chance, my eyes get tired...I even tried to do it on my breaks at work. But I have committed myself to do this.
This is all new territory for me, because although I've felt I should read my Bible more...I never really have. I know that this is one way you grow and learn from the Lord...I've just not done it very much. So I got my One Year Bible for Christmas and am now striving to read every day and to learn from it. Although I don't believe in New Year resolutions and I have stuck to the last one that I made years ago (to never make another New Year resolution)...I do believe in prayer. And so my prayer for this year is this:
Lord give me a soft heart, give me an uncluttered heart, and help me to grow deep roots in you this year. Draw me close to you and speak to me through your Word. Teach me to listen, and speak wisely, and give me the desire to put others before myself.
I am going to strive to pray these things every day and stay in His Word. That is what I started this blog for. To keep myself accountable with those who read it, and to share the change that I hope will happen in my own life. I am so thankful for my family and my church that I know will always stand behind me.

Reflection

Interesting. Joyful. Fearful. Frustrating. Depressing. Venting. Healing. Wishful. Thankful. Loving. Humbling. These are just some the words that describe my experience in 2009. In May 2008 my wife Meaghan and I found out we were pregnant with our first child...we also found out that my mother had been diagnosed with cancer of unknown origins. On November 24, 2008, my mother passed from this life and went Home to meet her Lord and Savior Jesus. Thus, we entered the new year with sadness, and myself with anger and bitterness toward God. On January 30, 2009...our son Noah was born and I was full of joy at this blessed little life. It's an odd thing to be so full of joy and so full of sadness at the same time...because my mother, Noah's grandmother, who had such a love of children, will never meet my son in this life. The next six months were somewhere between happiness and love...and anger...yelling at God. It took me over a year from my mothers initial diagnosis to finally accept that that Lord knew why he took her home, and that maybe I'll know someday...but not now. I was finally able to let the Lord heal me from the inside out and let go of my bitterness. The Lord gave us a child to help us in the healing process of our loss. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I have watched my son grow into a sweet, busy, energetic, almost 1 year old...and I could not ask for anything more than this. My loving, supportive wife and my son bring joy to my life everyday...and I am blessed.
I am thankful to God for loving us, providing for us, healing me, and for the ultimate sacrifice that he made through his son Jesus...as I reflect on this most difficult, joyful year of 2009.